Trusting

"Trust Me". Those are the words that were spoken to me early on in this pregnancy during a time when I so desperately needed to hear that. I've struggled with my emotions this time around, maybe more so than before. Knowledge can do that to a person, even if it's not direct knowledge. The worries and what ifs can swirl constantly. I was blessed with one great pregnancy, so how would this one go?

Lisa Jo Baker says it best in her book, Surprised by Motherhood:

"Every second time mom knows the intimate joy of holding in her arms a being whose life is so new, so delicate that his skin is still translucent with heaven...she knows. But she also remembers. She remembers the hard work growing, carrying and delivery that child into the world. She bears scars. And she needs to gird her courage around her to do it again. Death and life. Ask any pregnant mother and you will find her thoughts equally consumed by both. Birth is hard and risky work. It is intimate and exposed at the same time."

Now here we are, I've carried this little one close to my heart, sustaining her for 38.5 weeks. Feeling her strong kicks and shoves, watching my body continue to grow (and grow). We've almost reached the end of this part of our journey and will soon welcome her into this crazy and beautiful world.  By working on my trust and letting go throughout this pregnancy, I can appreciate once again the wonder and beauty of growing this little person. I can't wait to hold you Miss Hadley!

Mason : 2 years:

Dear Mason,

Well, we blinked and another year has passed with you moving from courageously taking a few stumbling steps to a full out run. It’s amazing to experience not only the physical changes from baby to toddler, but the developmental ones as well.  Words are tumbling out now, words we may not always understand completely, but that does not mean they are not thought out by you. Don’t worry though, there are words we do understand what you are sharing with us.

Your personality is shining through, in full force. You greet each morning with a smile and love to laugh. Your heart is big Mason, you freely give out hugs when leaving and enjoy saying “bye” to everyone you meet. Even your special trucks, tractors, pets, etc. hear a sweet little “bye” and wave from you each day.

You are so observant with our actions from the household routines to any project your daddy is working on. You have turned into our little helper around the home, from helping to unload the dishwasher from picking up your toys so I can vacuum. You want to be right there where you can follow along and help. You are all about routines and keeping us in line even down to the dogs. 

You enjoy watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and playing with any tractors, construction trucks, or other types of trucks. You are still enjoying books and we have to read 2 every night before bed that you pick out. Your lovey is Lion (a pacifier with a little lion stuffed animal attached) and you love him so so much which is evident by his well worn appearance. You sleep with various friends at night with this sometimes changing to include one of your tractors or your bobcat which must be tucked in under your blanket. Sleep is something you willing embrace. Play hard, sleep hard seems to be your motto.

Our family is expanding in this season of your life. At first I cried over it, worried that I would not be able to fully appreciate this season with you, but ultimately, this is our plan in life and with recent clarity and really seeing who you are becoming, I have realized that this is all ok. There are challenging times where we are learning and trying to appreciate your growing independence, but you Mason were meant to be a big brother. I can see it with your growing compassion for others, your helpful attitude, and your willingness to bring a smile.

Keep letting your braveness shine. Happy 2^nd birthday Mason. We love you!