Motherhood

On K-Love, they discussed a video last week where moms were interviewed and basically spoke of their "failures" or shortcomings as parents, and characteristics they wished they exhibited more of when dealing with their children. A mother's perspective. Then, these same women were brought back in to to watch interviews of their children describing what they thought of their mom. Amazingly, these children spoke of experiences that were meaningful to them, positive experiences that radiated the love they felt. A child's perspective. 

As moms, we tend to be our harshest critic. So many things we wish we would do differently with our children. So many what ifs, should have or could have. What if we took a moment and grabbed a tight hold on what we are doing right, even right now? Because ultimately, I know that those moments of rightness are there, in more abundance than we can imagine. We just have to step back and accept that our children love us for us, not the "perfect" mom that we think we need to be.

This was my first mothers' day. To look at Mason and to know that I have been entrusted with him, that's daunting and an immense responsibility. It would be so easy to get overwhelmed, which I admit, does happen at times. But that little guy, sees me and smiles. That little guy looks to me with openness in his big blue eyes. He challenges me to be a better person and he accepts me, faults and all. 

Mason James :9 Months:

 

Oh Mason, to think that this was the same amount of time that you grew in me...oh how time goes by in a blink. 

This month has brought about new adventures for us since your world has expanded. You are on the move!

You are keeping us on our toes with your rapid crawling pace and discovering all sorts of things to try and get a taste of before you are caught. Nothing like realizing you have left the dog’s food bowl down (with food still in it) and racing your 9 month old to the bowl. Never a dull moment in our household.

You absolutely love to explore. We’re enjoying watching to see what interests you and catches your eye.

You pull yourself up to stand whenever the opportunity presents itself and you have even let go briefly to stand on your own. We even had to lower your crib since you like to stand up. Slow down sweet boy, momma’s not ready for you to walk quite yet.

You are a joy, Mason. The infectious giggles and grins. Getting down on the floor with you, at your level, brings laughter. You love to “chase” us and then when we change direction and come after you, you attempt to change direction but really you’re anticipating the tickles and the kisses.

There are times though. Where you are extra clingy to those you know well, particularly me. Where you don’t want to eat your food. Where you arch that little back and throw your head. Where you just fuss and we’re not completely sure why. Trying times for us. But that’s okay. These times will happen and even though we experience trying times, we also experience the best of times. It’s all in this crazy roller coaster of parenthood.

Looking at you, Mason, I see determination. You fall, yet you pull yourself back up. You keep going. Your obstacles may not be big in the grand scheme of life right now, but they are to you and you persevere. Keep on little man! We love you forever and always!

Mason James : 8 Months :

Mason, you are now an 8 month old wide-eyed, inquisitive, joyful little boy. Life is full with you. You provide us with laughter and sweetness. 

You love reaching out for us, especially reaching closer towards ceiling fans. You adore your animals, even Daisy the cat. 

You enjoy playing with your blocks and jamming on your piano. Splashing during bathtime always brings a smile. 

You are on the verge of crawling. You may not be completely mobile, but you somehow manage to scoot and roll to investigate whatever catches your eye. 

I believe it is time to babyproof our home…

You are saying “mama” but it tends to be a continuous sound and I’m not quite sure you have made the connection of its true meaning, but I’m enjoying the sound regardless. 

Trying new foods has become fun and you get so excited. I’ve been making your food and it has been a success. You have tried peas, zucchini, spinach, kale, asparagus, cauliflower, sweet potatoes, carrots, plums, mangos, apples with cinnamon, and nectarines.  Still no teeth yet though.

Mason, we are so excited with all that you are learning. You amaze us with how much you embrace the world and those around you. (Proud momma moment…at school your teachers share how much everyone absolutely loves you.)

You are so brave. A quality that we hope you continue to embrace. Be brave and stay focused on what you believe in, never give up. You can accomplish anything!

We love you Mason!  

Mason James : 7 Months :

We have hit the 7 month mark and oh, how much fun we are having! Mason, I cannot tell you enough how much you continue to amaze me. All that you are learning, all that you are soaking in with those huge blue eyes.  

You are a pro at sitting up. Rolling around is your current mode of transportation. You still love to jump like a wildman and your puppy stuffed animal always makes you laugh. Napping (even eating at times) isn't always a priority when there's a whole world to explore. If you hear anything, you don't hesitate to investigate. 

The doctor is happy with your weight gain now and you are eating solids twice a day, which you love. You have tried quite a few different foods so far (peas, green beans, zucchini, carrots, sweet potatoes, plums, avocado, mangos, bananas). You have even been snacking on cheerios and puffs.

I must say Mason, your smile and laugh, bring joy to my heart and I can't help but respond in kind. Any time you see me or your Daddy, that sweet little grin appears. You have even started raising your arms up a bit for us to pick you up. Definitely not turning that offer down! You are a perfect mini version of your Daddy. You may have started out with dark hair but now your hair is much lighter, some might say you have a strawberry blonde tint. So handsome!

Despite you not always wanting to nap, I can usually count on you to fall asleep in the car. This particularly happens when we are on our way home during the week.  You play hard at school so as soon as we are on our way, you are out. 

You have become even more talkative and have so much to say at times. I'm teaching you to say MaMa. You haven't said it yet, but you really study my lips when I'm saying it. Other times, you just like to stare and take in your surroundings.

Mason, my love for you has no bounds. You hold such an important place in my heart and now it's hard to imagine life without you in it.  After you have fallen asleep while nursing, I just hold you. Take in that sweet baby smell while I still can. Snuggle you up close to me and whisper my love and my prayers for you. 

We love you sweet boy.

Best friend to be

As I mentioned in a previous post, it is important for us to invest in our friendships.  To keep in contact through the years even when everyday life gets in the way. 

Ad and I met our freshman year of college when we joined the same sorority and became sisters.  We have seen each other through everything, from being really random as roommates through more serious moments of heartbreak. We have stood by each other’s side during our weddings and we have welcomed the births of our sons. Her and her family even made a special trip down to celebrate my big birthday which was exciting because I do not see them near enough.

About a month ago though, Hubby, Mason and I took a road trip up to visit them.  Ad’s little man B turned 2 and it was time for our boys to meet.  (And conveniently that same weekend was the National Farm Machinery Show so of course we had to attend.)

B and Mason hit it off (well as much as a 6 month old and a 2 year old can). B is such a lovable little man and he instantly welcomed Mason with open arms. B read to Mason, brought Mason his toys, hugged on him and even bulldozed him (Yes, that is exactly what it sounds like.) And what do true friends really do...clear toe jam from little toes. Yes, B helped Mason by clearing the unwanted toe jam out. 

Through all this, Mason just smiled and watched, learning all that he could from B.  

I just loved soaking all these little moments in.  Seeing our boys together. When Ad and I met all those years ago, we had no idea of what the future would hold for us. No idea that in time, we both would have little boys. Future best friends. Just like their mommas. Two little boys running around, letting their imaginations soar. Getting dirty, while farming or building things. I see so much for B and Mason and I can't wait.  

Treading water

This blog is a chance for me to share updates into our lives as new parents, to share with everyone what a cutie we are raising and just other random life happenings. This blog is also a place where I hope I can be real and share.

To share my struggles and to know that I’m not alone. That sometimes juggling motherhood, being a wife and still maintaining a sense of self is hard. Some days I feel like I’m barely treading water, overwhelmed with the constant loads of laundry, cooking dinner, organizing at least some of the chaos of our home while taking care of Mason. My mind racing with everything that I want to accomplish, my to do list long. And how does that turn out for me…let’s just say not too many items get marked off. I’m the queen of saying…Oh I need to do this, I need to do that. Yup, usually doesn’t happen which ends up frustrating me and creates a sense that I’m lacking at times. Some days I’m just tired of the monotony of cleaning bottles and pump parts. And some days I’m just plain tired, not necessarily because I’m sleep deprived from waking up with Mason, but mentally.

Being surrounded by all the social media these days probably contributes to my struggles. It is easier to play the comparison game. To see how other moms seem to have it all together because I know I sure don’t.  

Please remember that I DO love being a mother. I DO love being a wife. I am grateful for all that I have, some days I just have to make more of a conscious effort to remind myself because it is so easy to get bogged down.     

I know that time with Mason is precious now, that he will not be a baby forever, so I am trying to focus on him, on creating those special memories of us as a family…

but I would appreciate some order to our home, maybe a table without the random piles on it. It would be a start…

30

Today, I celebrate my 30th birthday. It's hard to believe this "milestone" birthday is already upon me.

Here are a few things I have learned throughout my twenties:

1.  Don't get caught up in the idea of planning out your life. It will always change and go in another direction when you least expect it.

2. Change IS good and may be exactly what you need.

3. Reminiscing about your college years will happen, you'll laugh and even cry from the memories and that's okay.

4. Hold tight to your friendships. Invest in them because when everyday life happens it's easy to let them slip.

5. Listen to your parents. They do know what they are talking about (most of the time :).

6. You can consider your mom one of your closest friends.

7.  I miss naps. Seriously.

8. It is important to live on your own and become self-sufficient.

9. On the other hand, it's not the end of the world if you live with your parents for a bit after college.

10. Have confidence in all that you do.

11. You are stronger than you can even imagine.

12. Your priorities shift. Going out becomes staying in which is perfectly acceptable.

13. Travel when you get the opportunity, especially to another country.

14. Getting out of your comfort zone will strengthen you.

15. Sometimes all you can do is laugh, or cry, or even both.

16. Organization is not my forte despite my best intentions.

17. Nothing prepares you for parenthood. You have to experience it for yourself.

18. There's alot that I still want to learn.

19. There's nothing like waking up with the love of your life every morning.

20. It's the everyday little acts that make a difference.

21. Motherhood is my calling.

22. Hand holding never gets old.

23. Slow down and enjoy.

24. Babies grow way too fast.

25. What truly makes my house a home is my family.

26. I can live with a deer head in my living room.

27.  My body is amazing and I need to remember that my stretchmarks are evidence of my greatest accomplishment.

28. Questioning God does happen.

29. Don't miss an opportunity to share your love.

30. God has never strayed. He has stayed right beside me through it all.

I know I have learned even more from this past decade of my life, but I wanted to share the main ones that came to mind. There are regrets, but I try not to waste my energy. The past cannot be changed. I can only move forward and move forward I have. 

My life is special and each day I am purposeful in reminding myself that I have so many reasons to be thankful. Being 30 is another day in my extraordinary life :)  

Thumbs up for birthday celebrations!